INDIFFERENCE

Have you ever experienced a scenario that goes something like this? You are late, but you have exactly enough time to get to your destination, to the second. You pull out onto the two lane highway right behind a tractor trailer. In the other lane is a couple who are obviously happy just to be together and definitely not in any kind of rush to get anywhere anytime soon. Your heart starts pounding.. you tailgate.. your thought process is rapidly approaching the opposite end of the butterflies and rainbow spectrum. Neither driver seems to care that you are late. As a matter of fact, once they see your obvious show of traffic violations, they both take their feet off the gas pedal and coast a little. They could care less about your situation.

Now, in the words of the proverbial couch psychiatrist, "How does that make you feel?".


INDIFFERENCE.
in·dif·fer·ence   
[in-dif-er-uhns, -dif-ruhns]–noun
1. lack of interest or concern.
2. unimportance; little or no concern

In my last entry, I quoted an article that said: "If you are the parent of a child with an attachment disorder, such as reactive attachment disorder, you may be physically and emotionally exhausted from trying to connect with your child, only to be met with opposition, defiance, or, maybe hardest of all, indifference." Today I ponder this word 'indifference' and think of the many ways that God is helping me see His Great Love for me through this opposition.

The story of the pearl. "At some time in the course of the oyster’s development, a foreign substance such as a grain of sand gets into the little muscle and irritates the oyster. In response, the oyster covers that irritant with a secretion. The longer the irritation is there, the more the oyster coats it. Pearl oysters vary in size and can be quite rough and ugly. Yet what is happening inside is a combination of rainbows, moonlight, and bits of flame. Once the oyster accepts the irritation as part of itself, the pearl begins to develop. The worst storms, gales, even hurricanes will not dislodge it. As time goes by and this oyster is finally pulled up from the bed where it has been for many years, it is opened only to reveal a beautiful pearl."

Many times I stood in front of my child trying to get her to see why she should care about her behavior and I was met with a blank "indifferent" stare. I suppose many young people exhibit the attitude of indifference. The difference in most young people is the fact that this attitude comes and goes. With our special situation it stays. This indifference has become my irritating grain of sand. I am doing my best to trust that it will one day become a pearl of great price that I can purchase a crown to cast at my Savior's feet.

Will There Be Any Stars In My Crown

I am thinking today of that beautiful land I shall reach when the sun goeth down;
When thru wonderful grace by my Savior I stand,
Will there be any stars in my crown?

Will there be any stars, any stars in my crown
When at evenin' the sun goeth down
When I wake with the blest, in those mansions of rest,
Will there be any stars in my crown?

In the strength of the Lord let me labor and pray,
Let me watch as a winner of souls;
That bright stars may be mine in the glorious day,
When His praise like the sea billow rolls

O what joy it will be when His face I behold,
Living gems at His feet to lay down;
It would sweeten my bliss in the city of gold,
Should there be any stars in my crown